Many of us have never attended a bridal shower before and aren't familiar with how they work. Well, this week its all about showering the bride with our love and good wishes, hence the term "bridal shower"....ahhhh so that's how they came up with that? Pretty clever. Bridal showers are definitely one of the most enjoyable events before the wedding. The shower is a gathering of the bride's closest friends and relatives, but can sometimes include friends of the family, etc. Traditionally, the shower is the responsibility of the bridal party. Nowadays I see a lot of mother of the brides participating as well. As we spoke about in previous Q&A's, weddings can be costly, not only to the bride and groom, but to the bridesmaids as well. It's OK to ask the mother of the bride (or groom) to share the cost, or she may even cover the cost of the party and you can thank her by helping with the planning. Most often mothers of brides love to participate (and sometimes even insist, persist, require, demand, expect, reiterate, annoy ... mother-in-laws, you can't live with them, you can't live.....with them!) in every way they can.
Planning a bridal shower? Don't know where to start? Have a simple question? Attending a bridal shower? Don't know what to get for the bride? Well, as usual, I'm here to help, so write in with any of your bridal shower questions and I'll be glad to answer them.
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Q: I will be planning my sister's bridal shower which will be in about two months from now. Where is a bridal shower supposed to take place? What kind of food should be served?
A: Well, there is no right or wrong place to have a bridal shower, that is, aside from the obvious like knowing not to have a backyard BBQ in December or taking granny and Aunt Ida to Webster Hall on gay night or S&M night, or any night for that matter. A bridal shower can take place at home, your's or anybody else's that has a sufficient amount of space for your guests and with a willing hostess to take on the task of possibly some cooking and definitely some cleaning. Like the idea of an intimate shower at home? Well, planning a shower at home is fairly easy because you're the boss. Have a theme, like a tea party. Dress up the table in beautiful linens, whip out the fine china, some finger sandwiches, pastries, fruit and voila! Your all set to relax and enjoy instead of slaving away in the kitchen. Tea party too simple? Have a backyard BBQ with a Luau theme, flowers and grass skirts, petals decorating the tables. Worried about grilling? Hire someone. There are places where you can hire a waiter for about $12-$15 per hour (email me for more info)and the amount of headache you save is definitely worth it. If your home won't accommodate your guests or you just don't feel it's what you want, there are other options. Find a small cafe or restaurant that holds just your amount of guests or find a restaurant that has a private party room. Hosting your shower on say a Sunday afternoon will probably help budget-wise as well. Considering that most restaurants don't get busy until the evening, you can probably get a prefixed menu for an afternoon shower for anywhere from $20-$35 dollars per person for something might cost a lot more on a Saturday night. Good Luck.
Q: I'm planning my wedding and trying to help my maid of honor plan the shower. Two of my soon-to-be sister-in-laws were my bridesmaids, but now we're not talking. What do I do with the rest of the plans??
A: Seems like you're in a tough position. Have you purchased the bridesmaids dresses for your in-laws yet? If not, then no problem. If you did, are there any girlfriends you might want to replace them with? Worst case scenario - you can eBay the dresses and will most likely get your money back for those. As far as your maid of honor, she can be in touch with your future mother-in-law or the groom himself for telephone numbers and contact information of the guests (on your fiancées side) you would like to invite to your shower. More importantly, I must say that you should look at the situation optimistically. Instead of trying to figure out how to plan around the fact that you're not speaking with your future-in-laws, think about how to mend the situation. A wedding celebration is a happy occasion and being on bad terms with close family can really ruin your special day. I don't know the specifics between your in-laws and yourself, but what I do know is that planning a wedding can be extremely stressful and can cause people to disagree and get mad at one another for some really asinine reasons. You might look at this a few months or even a few years from now and think how silly this situation was. Do you really want to ruin your one special day over something that really wasn't a big deal? Your maid of honor should call your sisters in law and explain to them that although things aren't that great between you guys, the shower would be a really good time to secure a broken friendship. Not only will this make the wedding a happier occasion, but it will be one less thing to get stressed over before your big day, aside from the obvious problem it can cause between yourself and your future husband. Your in-laws will be around you often, so why waste your energy dwelling on the things about them that bother you? Let it go, and let's hope they do the same. You have so much ahead of you, be happy, enjoy! You can choose your friends, but you can't choose your family so pick your next steps wisely. Good Luck.
Q: I am a bridesmaid in my best friend's wedding and I have been asked by the maid of honor to be in charge of games at the bridal shower. What are some ideas for games that can played at the bridal shower and what are some good prizes to give away?
A: Sounds like you have a very organized maid of honor so this bridal shower should go well. I have a few games that have been a hit at every shower I have hosted. Some are simpler but used for the sake of breaking the ice and getting to know one another, so I suggest you try them out. I know that a lot of shower games sound really cheesy but trust me, if she can wear a bunch of silly bows on her head, she can play some cheesy games once in a while.
1. The Guess Who Game - this is one of the games that is used for the purpose of getting to know one another, and keeping your guests busy for the initial part of the shower. Take a stack of index cards and stock up on pens. As you greet the guests, hand them an index card and ask them to write something (a quote, or something that happened, or something about the bride) but leave their name off. The bride will have to guess who wrote the card. The prize goes to the people that the bride guessed correctly (although I usually give everyone a prize at the end as a memory). The prize I usually give for this game is a customized candy bar with the bride's name and date of her shower. These are usually a big hit, you can write me for more info on where to get these cute inexpensive gift. This game is great for getting to know one another.
2. The Marshmallow Game - This game definitely gets the most laughs, and I've had even very shy brides enjoy this one. Just make sure you have a camera ready, because you won't want to miss these kodak moments. You will need one bag of marshmallows (they must be the regular sized, not mini), a tape recorder (like the ones we use to record lectures in college) and a pen and paper. This game requires a bit of preparation but trust me, it's well worth it. Basically you need to make a list of about 12 questions to ask the groom. Your questions can be whatever you want but let me give you an idea. What is (Bride's) shoe size? Where was your first date? What is (bride's) favorite movie? Where was your first kiss? You get the idea - it's questions about the bride and groom, but mostly questions about the bride. Now if this is the perfect groom we are dealing with (ugh, I hate those ;-) then make sure he gets at least half of these wrong (on purpose); otherwise, this game won't be as fun. After you come up with your list of questions, take your tape recorder and pay a visit to the groom. Start by asking your first question. Then press record, and record only his answer (don't record yourself asking the question). Make sure you leave a few seconds between each answer. After he answers, press stop, ask the next question, and record his next answer, etc. At the shower, you will explain to the bride that you asked the groom a few questions about her and their answers have to match. If their answers don't match (right or wrong doesn't matter, its a matter of them having the same answer) she must put a marshmallow in her mouth and keep it there throughout the game. After 5 or 6 unmatched question the chipmunk...I mean bride...will look so funny I promise you that everyone in the room will be laughing hysterically. No prizes needed for this one.
3. The Toilet Paper Game - Depending on how many people will be attending, you will need to split teams up into about 5-7 people per team (one model, and the rest designers). Each team gets a roll of toilet paper and 5 paper clips. The main idea of the game is to design a wedding dress out of toilet paper and the bride will judge and pick her favorite. If you know the bride well, you know what kind of a dress she would like, so do your best to please her. Make sure to put a time limit on the "designing". One minute should be good; otherwise, it wont be as fun. A cute prize for the winning team would be some nail polishes or eye shadows that you can purchase at a drug store. Place them all in a bag and let the winners choose their colors. I'm not sure where your shower is taking place, but depending on whether it's home or in a restaurant I have other games I can recommend. Please write back and include your e-mail address, and I'll send some more game ideas. Good luck and let me know how it went. |
