A situation fraught with worry and potential disaster is the choosing of the dress for the mother of the groom to wear to the wedding. This process can be pleasant and agreeable for all involved or it can be one of the most difficult parts of a wedding's preparation, mostly depending upon the relationship of the mother of the groom with the bride and bride's mother (or lack of any relationship due to geographical locations or family relationships that are less than perfect).
Whatever the reason, what the mother of the groom chooses to wear to the wedding often becomes a bone of contention in bridal planning, when in actuality it really is one of the smaller details if you look at the whole picture. However, if you put yourself in the place of the mother of the groom, if you are a person to whom clothing is a very personal choice, the upcoming wedding of your son could require you to be more diplomatic and accepting of a color or style of dress that you would not normally consider even allowing to touch your body!
Of course, there are a few rules that are appropriate no matter your relationships with you soon-to-be in-laws. Your dress should be appropriate for the season of the year and the style of the wedding. After all, you do not want to show up for a winter wedding in New Hampshire in front of a blazing fire dressed in an off-the-shoulder gown in a large floral pattern, complete with a large skirt and floppy hat, would you? A lot of this is common sense, of course, even if you do not know your new in-laws well or have the misfortune to not get along with them well enough to coordinate your outfit. Therefore, you are unlikely to be asked to make a choice that is inappropriate to the month or style of the wedding.
The best option is, as one might expect, a dress that is much like that of the mother of the groom in terms of style and length, but does not “stand out” so far as to place the attention on the groom's mother in place of the bride's. If the bride has decided that she wants her mother to wear a long dress, the mother of the groom should overcome any objections she may have, and also wear a long dress. Likewise, a simple, elegant design to complement the colors and style of your counterpart is always the best choice, if possible.
The key to choosing the perfect dress to wear to your son's wedding is to remember that the bride and her mother may be quite territorial about wedding plans and decision making, and according to etiquette, the bride (and groom) choose the colors for the wedding and the style and atmosphere of the ceremony and reception.
You may not agree with their color scheme and may hate to wear gloves, but for one day, for your son's sake, you should try to overcome any trepidations you may have about your clothing and agree to a dress that will suit the wedding, not clash or outdo the bride's mother, and start your relationship with this new, all-important person in your son's life, by being as agreeable and flexible about your dress as humanly possible.
Only the photos will show the evidence years later, but the memories of a major disagreement over your refusal to wear certain colors or styles will not fade nearly as quickly or easily and may hurt your budding relationship with your new daughter-in-law much more deeply than the issue of a dress worn for one day is worth. |
