Frequent Wedding Questions

Q: I have 2 matron of Honors no bridesmaids and 1 flower girl. My finace has 1 best man and 1 grooms men. How should I pair them?

A: Depending on how important it is for you to let it be knows that your girls are matrons of honor, and the best man is ... well the best man, I would simply pair the ladies with the gents and save yourself a headache.  Otherwise your only option would be to have each walk alone.  Either way your wedding program will be the only thing explaining who's who and if anyone in your bridal party gets offended by your choices than just have one pair walk out first during the ceremony and have the other pair walk out first for the reception,  Fair enough?  As far as the flower girl, I would have her walk just before the bride comes out so she can drop the petals for the bride to walk out on.  Good Luck!

Q: I am confuse when it comes to tipping. Who should I tip and who I should not. What is the percentage I should give each person? For example, my makeup artist and hairdresser, the florist, the photographer, videographer, DJ/band, Maitre D', etc...I don't want to worry about this the day of the wedding. Please help me. Thanks.

A: I would leave the responsibility of tipping to the best man.  If the best man is tipping, you aren't thinking about it, and vendors wont be distracting you when you need to be enjoying your day.  The tips really depend on how much you are paying for your service.  If you are going to a fancy salon and paying $150 for your do, I would tip about $20.  Same goes for makeup artist, if your paying $85 for your make-up then $12-15 should be a sufficient tip.  As far as the rest of your vendors like the florist, photographers/videographers, DJ's, etc.; I would only tip their employees here and there, like the photographers assistant (considering that the photographer is the owner of his/her business and they make the profits from your event anyway) about $20-$30 since they are spending all day with you.  If you can afford more then anywhere up to $50 would be enough.  For the florist employees I would tip them around $10 - $20 each.  Again these tips are not necessary, just an extra thank you, I'm sure they aren't tipped at every party so they should appreciate what they get when they do get a tip.  As for the DJ if he is the owner of his company then just tip his employees, the lighting crew or anyone he brings with him, I think $20 each sounds about right.  With Maitre D's it varies, you can ask your caterer for a suggestion and go from there.  I think an average tip for a medium sized affair if there is only one Maitre D' working I would give about $100-$150.  You might think some of these are too much or too little that's why tipping is always optional, everyone is different, if someone did an outstanding job and you want to give them a bigger tip, that's fine, or if someone didn't meet your expectations, you are not required to give them anything.  The easiest way to prepare for this is to split the tips into labeled envelops, give them to the best man, and just forget about it.  Good Luck!

Q: My wedding is in a month and I have yet to secure bathrooms for an outdoor tented event. Would you have anyone to refer in the New York Area?

A: I would go with a large company that carries many of these outdoor restrooms so availability would not be a problem. I would definitely check the internet. I have seen these at a wedding before and they are quite nice, check out http://www.blacktieservices.com.

Q: I love candles, flowers and the rainbow; How can I incorporate all of them in my wedding?

A: Candles can be a very beautiful thing if placed correctly.  Imagine a dim room filled with candles, all sizes and shapes, on the tables on tall stands, on short stands, sounds almost surreal. Well, you can't go wrong with candles, a little, a lot, they almost always look good.  A nice touch for a candle centerpiece is a mirror base.  Its a round or square mirror that goes in the center of a table (mirror-side up) and with a candle arrangement placed on top of it can makes for an extraordinary centerpiece.  Candles are also fairly inexpensive, so go crazy, put candles everywhere!  In your case where you want to incorporate flowers, I would use the candle centerpieces for the cocktail hour tables and have floral centerpieces for your reception.  Most florists have stands that incorporate candles or some florists can create centerpieces that have a few long tapered candles in the middle of it.  Make sure to reiterate to your florist and/or caterer that they MUST light the candles just before your reception as many events go by without the candles ever getting lit.

When you say rainbow, I picture soft hues of blues, lilacs, greens and yellows and that's exactly what I would put into my centerpieces.  Too many colors can seem overbearing but if they are all soft shades they can mix together wonderfully.   If you really want to make your love of the rainbow known, this is a cool trick but only if your dress has a tulle skirt.  If you go to a large fabric store where there is a large selection of tulle you can get different soft shades of tulle like the ones in your centerpiece, have a seamstress (definitely someone you can trust, after all this is your wedding dress we are talking about here) add these soft colors of tulle underneath the topmost layer of tulle on your skirt.  These soft colors will come through your skirt and can add a really nice touch to your dress. Consider this idea if your dress is a bit on the contemporary side and wont look silly with this creative modern touch.  Put each bridesmaid in a different soft shade of colors that match your theme.  Have them carry a candle down the aisle instead of a bouquet, this will add a romantic touch to your ceremony but make sure that you have a candle holder to prevent hot wax from dripping on their skin or dresses, that would be a disaster.  Candle favors seem to go well with your theme so save yourself the headache of looking for expensive favors just stick with your motif and be consistent with it, you cant go wrong. Good luck!

Q: What colors should i choose for the flowers as my center piece, table
and chair covers with bow?

A: With the centerpieces you have a few options, if you mix centerpieces with all three colors, the centerpiece can end up costing you an arm and a leg becuase these exotic colored flowers like blue and green are pretty rare, hence expensive.  One idea would be making the main color of the centerpiece a creme color, with blue, green, and lavendar accents in it. Creme is always elegant and there are plenty of creme flowers, both expensive and inexpensive.  Another option if your budget is more flexible is to alternate centerpieces.  I love this idea becuase when centerpieces alternate, your eyes are drawn to them, as opposed to when every centerpiece is the same, its not as interesting to look around and pay attention to the details.  You can alternate centerpieces by making the main color green with lavendar and baby blue accents on a tall stand.  The next centerpiece can be mostly lavendar with green and blue accents that lays directly on the table.  The third can be blue with spurts of green and lavendar on a spiral stand.  The way to make this a more budget friendly idea is for example make on of the three centerpieces large and full, make the other two a bit simpler with less flowers but still changing around the main color. As long as they look different from each other, they will catch the eyes of your guests and they will defiently be fighting over who gets to take one home at the end of the evening.

If you choose to go with the creme based centerpiece, i would go with a more bold look for tablecloths.  Something like a yellow based plaid pattern with blue and lavendar hues.  Plaid has become poplular this season so I dont think you would have a problem finding the tablecloths. If you want to go for the colorful centerpieces than I would go with a soft yellow tablecloth (the blue green and lavendar would looks so great on yellow)with the option of a sheer overlay complementing the centerpiece's main color.  The chair cover matching the yellow cloth and the a sheer bow to match the centerpiece's main color and the sheer overlay.

I hope you can use some of these ideas and Good Luck!

Q: I will not be registering for my wedding because I already have a furnished apartment. Is it rude to ask for monetary gifts? My mom told me to open up a bank account? I have never heard of that, is that polite? How do I go about telling my guests that I would appreciate money instead?

A: Now a days when a lot of couples move in together before marriage, they already have everything they need and don't want to register for anything.  The best way to ask for monetary gifts is either to put a note on the invitation such as "No boxed gifts please"  or if you don't want that on your invitation then have them print it up on an insert card.  It is not rude to ask for monetary gifts, either way your guest will be spending money, so your just asking for the gift in a different form.  Your mom has a great idea, open a bank account with your gifts, its definitely a lot more useful than having 4 or 5 toasters right?  It can be a down payment for your first home.  Smart mom you got there!  Good Luck!

Q: I know it doesn't make that much of a difference, but I have 1 maid of honor, 4 bridesmaids, 1 best man, 3 groomsmen, 2 flower girls, and a ring bearer. I'm basically looking for suggestions on how to have them walk into the church during the processional, and then how to walk out. Any advice would be appreciated!

A: At my wedding, I had an uneven bridal party as well.  It worked out to my advantage because I had two female family members that were walking down the aisle alone.  Luckily I had 2 extra groomsmen that I used as "ushers" to walk with my family members, it made them feel a lot more comfortable.  If you don't have anyone that you would like them to walk with then I suggest you have the best man and maid of honor walk individually.  Then  have 2 "couples" walk out and  the last couple can consist of the groomsman walking with two bridesmaids, one on each side.  Maybe one of your groomsmen has that studly personality, that's the guy to have walk with your 2 bridesmaids, I think he would love to.  Have the flower girls walk out together as well or the ring bearer can walk in between the flower girls as well.  Everyone can walk out the same way they walked in, except the maid of honor and best man can walk together on the way back.  This is just a suggestion but I'm sure any way you do it will be fine, there's really no wrong way to do it.  Good Luck!

Q: My wedding is in less than two months and I don't have anything. Please help me. I'm so confused.

A: OK, THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT! FIRST OFF, AND THIS IS AN EXTREMELY CRITICAL STEP IN PLANNING, YOU MUST ...BREATH!  I know you think this is it, time to have a fit and stress, but that's absolutely not true.  Now I don't know the details but I'm assuming that if someone set your date then someone is helping you with your planning.  I'm also assuming that you already have a reception site (usually that's the reception site whose availability decides your fate..oops, I mean date). 

Most importantly the bride needs a dress right?  Obviously its a bit too late to have a dress custom made but that's no reason to get upset because there are many places to get a gorgeous ready to wear dress.  I would go to a large wedding store in your area that stocks popular styles or can order dresses on rush.  If you see a dress you like in a bridal fashion magazine, most likely its available at one of these big bridal fashion stores. 

Now that the dress is out of the way, the next important step is your entertainment.  Do you want a DJ or a band?  Your budget can probably solve that issue, usually bands are a lot more expensive than DJs, but if money is not an option I would definitely go with a good live band, its always more elegant than a DJ. 

Next the bridesmaids, are you going to have them?  If so, lets pick a color scheme we are going to work with.  July is a wonderful summer month so go with happy bright summer colors.  Once you have picked a color scheme its time to go dress shopping! Save yourself the headache of shopping with all of your bridesmaids, take your best friend and go dress hunting.  When you think you have found the perfect dress, that's when you can get the rest of the girls involved.  Pick a date when all of your girls can make it for fittings, if they cant go the same day just leave their information with the store and have them come in on their own time. 

Next is flowers. Now that you have a color scheme, picking centerpieces is easy. Ask your florist to make you a sample, if they know what they are doing, they will know what you want just from speaking with you and create a sample that you will love. 

Next pick a photographer and videographer.  Most companies are able to do both videography and photography so one stop shopping is our best bet when we have little time to plan.   

In your spare time you can pick some favors and think about the place cards.  If you take one day to accomplish each of these tasks, well let's see, you have about 45 days left to do what's important ...BREATH! Good Luck!

Q: I know at least a couple of people I'm inviting to the wedding will want to bring their kids to the ceremony but not want to bring them to the reception so they can drink and not have to worry. I wanted to allow baby-sitters to come to the ceremony so when it was over they could bring the kids home but I don't know how I would include this in the invitation? Please help.

A: I don't think allowing baby-sitters is something you would include on your invitation.  I cant imagine having my invitation framed, hanging on the wall, with a note on it about baby-sitters.  Seems that this is more of a personal issue and might be better handled over the phone. Just call the "couple" of people as a courtesy and let them know that its OK for their baby-sitters to attend the ceremony.  However, it seems a bit obvious that if you are attending a wedding and need someone to take your child home after the ceremony you would ask someone (like for example...your baby-sitter) to be there to take the child home.  I understand that you are just trying to be extra courteous, but a simple phone call should do the trick.  If you don't like that idea, just have your invitation company print up an extra card and insert that with your invitations, that way it wont be a sore spot on your invite and you let your guests know that baby-sitters are OK.  This note can also give your guests a hint that children are not wanted at the reception, so be careful unless that's what you want.  If you don't mind kids at the reception, I would stick with the phone call and not give people the wrong idea. Good Luck!

Q: I would rather not have children (under 10) at my wedding reception. How do I inform my guests in a polite way? Do I include this information in the invitations? Thanks for your help.

A: According to wedding "etiquette" you are not supposed to make notes on invitations saying that children are not invited.  But according to correct etiquette, people should know that only those names on the inner envelope of the invitation are those that are invited, so if the inner envelope says Mark and Angela Smith that doesn't mean Mark, Angela, and Junior.  If you think that your guests aren't aware or will disregard the etiquette well then you will just have to take it a step further.  Your options would be to have the moms (yours and your fiances) spread the word in a nice way that you will not be accommodating children at your reception.  You can also look up a baby sitting service in your area and insert that information on a card with your invite, this will give them the hint.  If your thinking etiquette shmetiquette! then just go ahead and make a note directly on the invitation in the corner saying "Adults Only". I've also heard of making a note on the respond card, something like We have reserved two seats for you, Kindly respond by ... they should get the hint that way as well.  Good Luck!

Q: I am getting married in 3 weeks in Jamaica. My close family and friends have their airline tickets; as well as my maid of honor; None of my fiance's friends have confirmed their airline reservations as of yet. The only people from his side of our guest list that have confirmed reservations is his dad and his family that already live in Jamaica. How do I handle my situation; without leaving my fiance standing there with no one to represent him but me?

A: Sounds like a tough situation. You obviously can't force anyone to confirm their tickets.  The important people like his family are going to be there.  I would imagine that if you contact your fiances friends, like his best man, and explain that they are very important to your fiance and he would be hurt if they didn't come to the wedding, they might go ahead and confirm.  Do you know their reasoning for not confirming the tickets?  The best way to go about it is to talk to them, I think anyone would be flattered to know that their attendance at your wedding is important to you and your personal attention to each one of them should get them going.  Good Luck!

Q: Two of my bridesmaids, who are also family members just don't seem to be taking my wedding seriously. I asked them to purchase the dress 3 months ago and they still haven't done it, which is making my other bridesmaids stressed since the store won't order any of the dresses until all the girls pay for their dresses. I've asked them a few times to purchase the dress and they keep on telling me they haven't had time but they already got sized and just need to call the store. I understand that my wedding is more important to me then them, but I've been bridesmaids in their weddings and bought th! e dress without any hesitation and even went all out making sure my hair, nails and makeup looked perfect for them. What's the best way to approach this problem since kindly asking them didn't seem to work?

A: If talking to them didn't work then have one of your "good" bridesmaids explain to the others that their actions are really hurting your feelings and unnecessarily stressing you out, maybe they felt as if you are favoring some maids over others and if you have another bridesmaid talk to them, they will feel a sense of equality and won't feel more or less important than anyone else.  No attitudes necessary, I cant imagine that knowing that the bride is upset they would still continue to act the way they are.  Just in case they do ... tell them bi&^$es buh-bye!  If they don't care then you shouldn't either, you don't have time to wait for them to get off their lazy asses, you have a wedding to plan!  Good Luck!